


what is this, an astronaut crew for ants?

by reptilianraven



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianraven/pseuds/reptilianraven
Summary: There’s a group of kids in Teacher Mindy Park’s kindergarten class that calls themselves the Ares 3 Crew.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49





	what is this, an astronaut crew for ants?

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t interacted with six year olds in my entire life so like. take this all with a grain of salt. i just wanted fluff with no plot

Mindy Park loves her job. She loves teaching kids, she loves seeing their eyes light up with every new lesson, she loves hearing their bizarre and amazing perspectives on things. Kids are a breath of fresh air, and she loves being around them. Being a kindergarten teacher suits her, and she can’t think of any other job she’d rather be doing.

However, every kindergarten class has their menaces. The kid who bites people, the kid who pushes other kids into the dirt, the kid who won’t go to sleep until he’s eaten a bottle of glue. This year is no different, but maybe it is. This year’s menaces aren’t mean or physically harmful and they don’t eat glue either. They’re just weird.

They call themselves the Ares 3 Crew. In her own mind, Mindy sometimes calls them the Super Nerds.

The Ares 3 Crew consists of six whole kids. Melissa Lewis, prim, proper, and a little bit intense, she’s the de facto leader of the group, with the rest of the crew often calling her Commander Melissa. Melissa likes braiding hair, collecting rocks, and giving orders. That’s probably her three most favorite things in the world. There’s Alex Vogel, arts and crafts demon. Alex’s father is a chemistry teacher, and little Alex seems to want to follow in his footsteps, mixing paints and beads together to make “radioactive chemical compounds” he calls them. Alex likes using big words that have lots of syllables, and that scares the other kids. Next up is Beth Johanssen. She used to be really shy before she met the Ares 3 Crew, preferring to spend recess playing games on an old Gameboy, but Melissa took one look at her, and then she was part of their little club. Beth usually hangs back and observes, but she’s always smiling when she’s with the Ares 3 Crew. Especially when she’s with Chris. Chris Beck is the unholy combination between crybaby and hypochondriac. He’s cried because Alex scraped his knee and he was worried about infection on Alex’s behalf, he’s cried because the sun was shining really bright and he was worried about cancerous sunburn, he’s cried because of the fact he cries a lot because he thought the dehydration would kill him. At a parent teacher conference, Chris’ mother told Mindy that Chris has an encyclopedia on various illnesses. He’s been plagued with anxiety over the human condition ever since. Then there’s Rick Martinez, resident class clown. Rick loves playing pranks and cracking jokes. He’s got a ton of energy, but he also has a soft side that comes out at the oddest of moments. Rick has a newborn baby sister, so when somebody in the classroom is crying, usually Chris, Rick is the first one to start patting his back and telling him he’s going to be okay. Last but definitely not least is Mark Watney. The class’ golden boy. Mark is a great kid, he’s friendly, agreeable, and gets along with basically everybody. He’s managed to get even the shyest kids out of their shell and laughing. Mark loves plants and nature and giving Mindy a headache because every time they break for recess, Mark always finds a way to get covered in dirt.

The Ares 3 Crew aren’t a bad bunch. They’re just weird. The other kids like the crew well enough, but when the crew is all together, the other kids give them a wide berth, like the crew is some kind of kiddie mafia. Ever since those six met, they’ve done everything together. Recess, naptime, even field trips. The latest field trip in particular was a nightmare because Mindy had to calmly explain to the crew that they had to be a buddy system, not a six-kids-holding-hands-in-long-line system. Thankfully, they managed to pair up with each other with minimum fuss.

“Commander Melissa!” Mark says, running across the playground to where the rest of the crew are sitting around Melissa drawing something with a stick in the sandbox. “Mission accomplished!”

“What did you find?” Melissa says, gaze way too serious for a six year old.

“Life!” Mark thrusts forward his chubby little hand and Mindy is close enough to see a little worm wriggling on his palm.

“That is so cool,” Rick pokes the worm.

“Is is sterile?” Chris asks. Where these kids are learning these words, Mindy doesn’t want to know. 

“What’s sterile?” Beth pokes Chris in the face. Chris, adorably, blushes furiously.

“Means clean. Really clean.” Alex tells the crew.

Rick points to Mark. “Like the opposite of this guy.”

“‘Course it’s not sterile, it’s a worm, it lives in the dirt,” Mark sticks his tongue out at Chris. Then, he brightens and turns to Melissa. “I wanna be a worm. Can that be our next mission, Commander?”

“You want us all to be worms?” Melissa gives this a second of thought. “That sounds kind of nice.”

“I don’t wanna be a worm,” Chris yells before yelling something incomprehensible about bacteria in the dirt. His lip is wobbling precariously, and Mindy is going to have to step in unless she wants a full blown Beck meltdown.

After a quick scan over the playground, she concludes that all the other kids are doing fine. She makes her way to the sandbox and crouches down to greet the crew.

“Hey guys,” Mindy smiles

There’s a chorus of Ms. Mindy! from everybody around.

“Whoa,” Mindy leans over to where Mark is still showing off the worm. “Mark, is that a worm you got there?”

“Yeah, I found him all on my own,” Mark grins. There is definitely enough dirt on him for Mindy to believe that.

“That’s great, buddy! But you gotta put him back where you found him, okay?” Immediately, Mark’s face scrunches into a frown. Mindy has had enough experience with him to know what to say next. “He might need to get back to his worm family.”

Beth gasps, “You took him from his _family_?”

“I didn’t! He was all alone.”

Alex hums. “Maybe he was going out to get groceries.”

“Or out for a walk,” Rick pipes in. “Out for a wiggle?

“Alex and Rick have a good point,” Mindy says. Mark ducks his head. “Mark, don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong. How about I come with you to where you found him and we’ll return him together?”

Mark lifts his head and looks to Melissa, who had tuned out the conversation seconds ago, going back to drawing in the sand. “Commander?”

Melissa briefly looks up to Mindy and Mark before nodding “You did a good job finding the worm, but Ms. Mindy is right. You should put the worm back.”

“Okaaaaaay,” Mark places the worm in one hand and raises his other dirty, dirty hand to Mindy. He makes a grabby hand motion and Mindy doesn’t hesitate to take his hand. Mark in particular is a very tactile kid, and you’d have to hold Mindy at gunpoint to refuse a hand hold from this dirt child. “I found him over there.”

Mindy lets Mark lead her to behind a bush near the swing set. Behind the bush, there is a shallow hole in the ground that looks to have been dug by Mark with his bare hands. 

“Goodbye, worm,” Mark says, very solemnly, as he places the worm back in the hole. The worm wriggles around before burrowing back into the soil. “Have fun with your family.”

Mark is a really good kid.

-

Less than a few hours later, Mindy takes it back. 

Mark Watney is a menace to society.

In the span of one nap time session, Mark has taught the entire class a brand spanking new word he learned a few days ago.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Mindy Park’s kindergarten chants in her face. In the middle of it all, Mark Watney grins like he’s discovered six year old nirvana.

**Author's Note:**

> im [actualbird](http://actualbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr! thanks for reading :D more to come in the coming days


End file.
